I won’t lie. Today’s episode was hard to record and difficult to digest – because honestly, complaining has become such a big part of how we communicate. Complaining has become so normalized, that most of us don’t even recognize when we’re doing it. It may feel satisfying in the moment, but ultimately, complaining doesn’t change our situation – it only changes us. (And not for the better.) Changing complaining culture starts with us. It’s time to examine our conversations and exchange our venting and negativity with talk about our joys and passions.

Things to Remember From Today’s Episode:


  1. the expression of dissatisfaction or annoyance about something.

2) the opposite of appreciation

Complaining is sneaky. It’s normalized. Be on guard.

Complaint’s cousin is negativity.

Learn to ask yourself what your motivation is behind the complaining. Figure out your WHY.

Complaint is not a good way to signal your passions or beliefs. It is NOT a strategy or a way to win anyone over.

Samuel Johnson said, “Complaints are our way of publishing our gloom.”

Complaining is like being stuck on a life raft in the middle of the ocean. In the moment, drinking that sea water is going to feel good – but ultimately, you’re only making your situation worse and causing damage to yourself.

Complaining doesn’t actually fix the problem. It actually magnifies the problem in our mind – focusing our attention on it. Complaining doesn’t change our situations. It only changes us.

Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your JOYS.

Complaint is a rut shovel. (It gets you and keeps you stuck!)

Action Steps:

Take note of how much of your conversation is complaint-based. Scroll through your texts. Listen to yourself talk.

Share a happy thing. A delight. A joy. Share it! Change the group-think of your group.